Archive for Humor
The Bush!
I spotted this on my way to a final the other day. Sadly, it was blacked out the next day, so the full humor of the alteration is a bit tough to see:
The blacked out part says “DIE BUSH!” It was spray painted on the sidewalk. Before it was painted over, the first word was crossed out in chalk and the rest of the text was added. The text is self-explanatory if you’ve taken German. If not, you need to learn a bit about German definite article usage. (The second Note on the page is the explanation you’re after.)
“Cream your khakis, not Iraqis”
Ladies and gentlemen, isn’t it time we put down our guns? We’ve been figting this War on Terrormabob for too long now. Yes, it’s time we stood up for peace!
Or, perhaps, sat down. Or maybe layed down. Yes, I think that would be best.
It’s time we all masturbated for peace!
Think George W. should go pick on someone his own size? Go ahead and slap that salami!
Think nation building should begin at home? Then send a message to those in power by flogging your dolphin.
The method of the day is “Use Both Hands.” Actually, to be honest, I’m a little concerned about December 31; don’t know where I’ll find a friend to masturbate with. :-)
The HisTory of Michael Jackson’s face
This is so sadly hilarious, I can’t do it justice. You just need to go look at it.
Laugh your ass off
Ever wondered what Kim Jong Il’s IM conversations look like? Well, wonder no more. There’s a LiveJournal that has chat transcripts between Kim and other world leaders (George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Saddam Hussein, etc.).
You’ve got to read it to believe it; funniest thing I’ve seen in months!
Of sex, and the apparent Czech attitude theretoward
Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics
I was a particular combination of bored and tired last night, which led me to stay in at our (very nice) hotel. While most of my fellow travellers were partying at Europe’s largest discoteque (described by a particularly surly classmate as a “five story death trap”), I read a little Pickwick Papers and watched a little television.
I had flipped on the tube when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a naked woman dancing to techno music. I immediately put this down to (a) the very liberated stance Europe seems to take on carnal pleasure and (b) the Czech version of my experience in Germany, where 23:00 means soft core porn on the public TV stations (w00t). It turned out to be something far more interesting.Read the rest of this entry »
What would YOU do with $2.5 trillion?
I can’t remember hearing anything about this at the time, but it appears that a man was arrested in 2001 for taking part in the largest attempted scam ever. It involved counterfeit US Treasury bonds, and the man and his associates were apparently going to try to pocket $2.5 trillion! Here I am, trying not to spend a single pound I don’t need to, and this guy was going to have more money than the entire world’s gold reserves.
Asshole.
What on Earth was he thinking?
I’ve experienced run-on sentences before, but not usually in newspapers. Much less, the New York Times. Less still as the first “sentence” of a story! Observe:
What on earth was he thinking, Siegfried & Roy’s 7-year-old white Siberian tiger, Montecore, sequestered now ‘’in its usual quarters,’’ as one report phrased it, at the Mirage hotel in Las Vegas, his future as an entertainer, indeed as a tiger, in serious question.
Somebody has a ways to go before they’ll be writing front page copy.
If you’re so inclined, you can read the rest of the story here.